As someone who has ADHD AND is an introvert with social anxiety, that office is my idea of hell! Definitely wouldn’t last a month, maybe not even a week.
Sounds like you’re like me then: a personable introvert.
I’m good at faking being a social butterfly when I have to as well and generally treat people kindly and considerately but yeah, it really IS draining to deal with people for long periods of time and I tend to avoid it when I can do so without stepping on anyone’s toes…
See, that’s the main thing that differentiates introverts. A lot of introverts trend to being quiet and unsocial, but it’s because they’ve learned that it’s exhausting. Then there’s the lot of us who, for whatever reason, have been forced to push through and do it anyway.
Being social is a skill you have to develop, and since we’ve had to put in more work, we can be pretty good at it. When I’m in a social situation I can turn it on. My defense mechanism when I’m feeling uncomfortable is to shut my brain off and let that social muscle memory take over and I become super charming. Or I have to take over a meeting because I’m the only one who actually understands the topic and can communicate it. I can do it, and I’m good at it. But as soon as it’s over I can feel my brain deflate. Sometimes it uses all my spoons and I know immediately that I’m not going to get anything else done the rest of the day because an early surprise meeting showed up on my calendar.
I’m that guy. The phone next to me is ringing SUPER LOUD nonstop, ear hurting loud. Sometimes he has two phones and while talking they call him again. There’s people on the front talking about work, but talking. People at the back talking too. People come to talk to coworkers next to me… It’s hell, I’m lucky my sector doesn’t have work shortage so I’m just going to leave.
Now, they told me that I can use headphones when I said I’m leaving, but… yeah no, this kind of things have to be though beforehand, not given as the carrot so I don’t leave. Think about accomodating workers, not appeasing them when they complain ffs.
Depending on where you live it and the job you do, you may be possible to get an exception to the rule against wearing headphones.
If you’re in the US or UK, I know it would be your right to request reasonable accommodation for ADHD - either under the ADA or the Equality Act.
Obviously if there’s a good reason to disallow headphones (for example, if there’s some danger that you wouldn’t be able to hear) then this wouldn’t help. But if it’s just the company being controlling, you can probably get an exception.
It doesn’t need to be a confrontation - just have a chat with your manager, mention that you have an ADHD diagnosis and that you have been recommended some things to help improve your focus, attention and performance at work, and that one of those suggestions was listening to music or white noise through headphones, and ask if it could be considered as an adjustment due to your disability. If you frame it as a collaborative and positive action that you can take together, rather than something you’re demanding to be different, I don’t think there’s any reason for your manager to be offended by the request.
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This is the far far bigger WTF-moment for me. No headphones? In an open office?!
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Oh god, I feel bad for that guy. Like, also the rest of you, but a chatty six person office that bans headphones if you don’t like smalltalk? Torture.
As someone who has ADHD AND is an introvert with social anxiety, that office is my idea of hell! Definitely wouldn’t last a month, maybe not even a week.
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Sounds like you’re like me then: a personable introvert.
I’m good at faking being a social butterfly when I have to as well and generally treat people kindly and considerately but yeah, it really IS draining to deal with people for long periods of time and I tend to avoid it when I can do so without stepping on anyone’s toes…
See, that’s the main thing that differentiates introverts. A lot of introverts trend to being quiet and unsocial, but it’s because they’ve learned that it’s exhausting. Then there’s the lot of us who, for whatever reason, have been forced to push through and do it anyway.
Being social is a skill you have to develop, and since we’ve had to put in more work, we can be pretty good at it. When I’m in a social situation I can turn it on. My defense mechanism when I’m feeling uncomfortable is to shut my brain off and let that social muscle memory take over and I become super charming. Or I have to take over a meeting because I’m the only one who actually understands the topic and can communicate it. I can do it, and I’m good at it. But as soon as it’s over I can feel my brain deflate. Sometimes it uses all my spoons and I know immediately that I’m not going to get anything else done the rest of the day because an early surprise meeting showed up on my calendar.
I’m that guy. The phone next to me is ringing SUPER LOUD nonstop, ear hurting loud. Sometimes he has two phones and while talking they call him again. There’s people on the front talking about work, but talking. People at the back talking too. People come to talk to coworkers next to me… It’s hell, I’m lucky my sector doesn’t have work shortage so I’m just going to leave.
Now, they told me that I can use headphones when I said I’m leaving, but… yeah no, this kind of things have to be though beforehand, not given as the carrot so I don’t leave. Think about accomodating workers, not appeasing them when they complain ffs.
Same situation for me - only my desk mate plays accuradio over speakers like we’re in a fucking gym. I can barely keep focused on anything
Depending on where you live it and the job you do, you may be possible to get an exception to the rule against wearing headphones.
If you’re in the US or UK, I know it would be your right to request reasonable accommodation for ADHD - either under the ADA or the Equality Act.
Obviously if there’s a good reason to disallow headphones (for example, if there’s some danger that you wouldn’t be able to hear) then this wouldn’t help. But if it’s just the company being controlling, you can probably get an exception.
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It doesn’t need to be a confrontation - just have a chat with your manager, mention that you have an ADHD diagnosis and that you have been recommended some things to help improve your focus, attention and performance at work, and that one of those suggestions was listening to music or white noise through headphones, and ask if it could be considered as an adjustment due to your disability. If you frame it as a collaborative and positive action that you can take together, rather than something you’re demanding to be different, I don’t think there’s any reason for your manager to be offended by the request.
Could you use just one ear bud? I do that a lot so that I can still hear what’s going on around me but have some music or podcast going while I work.