I have anger issues, which I can’t control. I am considered conventionally attractive (though I don’t see it) and many people think I’m cool and want to be around me.
Like I said, though, I have anger issues where I will act quite aggressively towards people. One time, someone I knew said hi to me, so I screamed “I HEARD YOU”. I also tend to type very dryly and with periods when I’m upset (which is admittedly ~90% of the time but I can’t control that).
My friend doesn’t talk to me as much and I really don’t get why because even when I’m “aggressive”, it’s tough love and I’m trying to help them. If I didn’t love her, I wouldn’t be like that.
I’m even like this with guys I’ve dated and I love them not as brothers.
Women also piss me off more than men do, so I hang out more with them because I feel like they get me and aren’t as bitchy. (Part of the reason why I’m bi curious but never found a woman I’d date, excluding one I almost went out with).
While I do tend to praise men and ignore women, as some people say, it’s tough love since I think women should be the best versions of themselves :) [I believe this is why society is so hard on women as a whole]
But yeah, TLDR; My mood problems impact the people I care about, and I’m wondering if it’s a turn off since some people don’t want to be around me rather than loving me for me.
I have a reason for my actions, people just choose to ignore those reasons and misinterpret me.
I do like women. Women are beautiful.
I, in fact, tried dating one at 16, but I was also dating this dude and trying to break up. She didn’t know I was dating him, though (she never even asked) and caught me with him. She was very upset, so I told my homophobic asshole friend to go F herself for telling her I have a boyfriend :(
So yeah, my big-mouthed friend ruined that for me, sadly. I told her to never speak to me again and she couldn’t sit with me for the rest of sophomore year, but since I’m quite sweet, I forgave her. i know she was devoted to me.
It sounds like you ruined it for yourself. Judging from all of your replies and especially this one in particular, you seem to lack the ability to take basic accountability for your own actions. I would suggest reflecting on the cause-and-effect in the anecdotes you’ve shared and try to visualize how they might played out were the roles reversed and other people spoke to/treated you the way that you describe treating them. Even if you have some degree of sociopathy (I’m not a mental health professional by any means), you should still be able to reflect on these situations on an intellectual and objective level and consider that you might be the cause of these conflicts.