I have anger issues, which I can’t control. I am considered conventionally attractive (though I don’t see it) and many people think I’m cool and want to be around me.
Like I said, though, I have anger issues where I will act quite aggressively towards people. One time, someone I knew said hi to me, so I screamed “I HEARD YOU”. I also tend to type very dryly and with periods when I’m upset (which is admittedly ~90% of the time but I can’t control that).
My friend doesn’t talk to me as much and I really don’t get why because even when I’m “aggressive”, it’s tough love and I’m trying to help them. If I didn’t love her, I wouldn’t be like that.
I’m even like this with guys I’ve dated and I love them not as brothers.
Women also piss me off more than men do, so I hang out more with them because I feel like they get me and aren’t as bitchy. (Part of the reason why I’m bi curious but never found a woman I’d date, excluding one I almost went out with).
While I do tend to praise men and ignore women, as some people say, it’s tough love since I think women should be the best versions of themselves :) [I believe this is why society is so hard on women as a whole]
But yeah, TLDR; My mood problems impact the people I care about, and I’m wondering if it’s a turn off since some people don’t want to be around me rather than loving me for me.
I have a reason for my actions, people just choose to ignore those reasons and misinterpret me.
I don’t know if I’m any of these, to be honest. I just have low empathy and high standards.
From your other reply, it seems to me that you’re likely a sociopath, which basically means you are by default a narcissist, as you only see the world in how it relates to you, as opposed to how others relate to you, and others to others.
You genuinely seem to have no ability to reflexively empathize with others, neither in a real time interaction, nor afterward.
You are your only emotional frame of reference, which means all of socializing basically is just a game you play to achieve some goal or goals… which is the same thing as saying, you do not comprehend how socializing could be anything other than a game of manipulating people, which other people are just worse at than you.
Apparently with the DSM V, sociopathy and psychopathy have basically been redefined, together, into ASPD.
So… yeah.
Please see a therapist.