I know I’ll get shit, but Pulp Fiction sucks. It’s not about anything, Bruce Willis adds nothing to the film at all, and it’s confusing to watch without having any real reason to be or payoff.

The worst part is that it’s one of those things where if you don’t like it, the fans just belittle you and claim you’re “Just not smart enough to get it man.” or they’ll be passive aggressive about it. “Oh it’s okay, my ditzy blonde girlfriend doesn’t get it either.” or “Not every movie can be about guns and shit, I know you stopped paying attention after the opening.”

It’s a shame because it was hyped up to me as one of the best movies of all time, and I try to watch it thinking this time it will click, this time I can see what the fuss is about.

And each time, it’s just as terrible as I remember for all the same reasons as last time.

While on this subject It’s a TV Show and not a movie, but I legitimately believe Andor is one of the worst pieces of Star Wars media ever created and if given the choice I’d sooner watch the Holiday Special because at least it’s entertainingly bad. Instead of being a god damn hour straight of characters marching like they’re at a military parade just to get to a boring shoot-out at a heist where everyone dies, only unlike when everyone dies in the heist in Solo, I don’t shed a single tear because everyone involved with said heist has done absolutely nothing but bitch at Andor for not being “one of the cool kids” so if I’m feeling any emotion it’s annoyance that my time getting to know these losers was completely wasted and relief that such unlikable characters are dead.

But hey, at least it only ruined Cassian Andor, it could have ruined someone who’s been in more than one movie like Book of Boba Fett did. Ya know what Boba Fett’s “book” is called in this show; Character Assassination: A How-To Guide

I don’t know how you ruin a character who’s done nothing but say “He’s no good to me dead” in one movie, and have a retconned-in-most-continuities death in the next, but leave it to Disney’s second Dark Age to find a way. But hey, at least every one agrees that Book of Boba Fett is trash instead of kissing the ground it walks on like Andor. So there’s that.

Andor is a show so bad that there’s a character named Cyril who’s entire existence is dedicated to scenes where he eats Cereal. Absolute trash.

Anyway getting back to how the pulp of orange juice is more fun to watch than Pulp Fiction, Quentin Tarantino is a hack who sucks at every aspect of film making that isn’t writing dialogue. Resevoir Dogs was okay though.