You’re not alone OP, I’m in a similar boat. If I may make some suggestions, talk to your girlfriend again. Let her know how bad it is for you right now. Hopefully she listens and tries to support you in ways that helps.

Second, you should really consider a psychiatrist and therapy if you can afford it. (I’m going to assume you’re in the US). The Open Path Collective is a low cost network of therapists. You pay a one time membership fee and then sessions range from $30 to a maximum of $70. And Psychology Today has a psychiatrist finder thing that has all sorts of filters to find a psychiatrist that’s right for you, including low cost options. They can help you find a medication that’s right for you.

I know people talk a lot of shit about antidepressants (and to an extent, I agree with a lot of the criticisms) but it’s undeniable that they do help take the edge off. When you’re on a good one, all it does is pluck the depression out of your brain, it’s a very subtle feeling but it makes a world of difference.

Lastly, I would suggest that you try getting active in your community. Find an organization that aligns with your politics, or is doing work that you feel is important and just show up to a meeting/public event they’re having. It’s very likely they need the help and would take you in with open arms. There’s a degree of fulfillment and relief that comes with being able to do good for those around you and actually seeing the results that medication can’t provide. Food Not Bombs is a pretty ubiquitous organization that focuses on feeding the homeless. My local FNB also sets up a free store and we have a bicycle mechanic that does free maintenance for our neighbors. If cooking isn’t your forte, there’s always something else you could do to make a difference.

You have every reason to feel depressed right now OP. But I hope you’re able to improve your situation and work towards healing. Take care

Just hopping in to recommend the books. They’re seriously good and the movies don’t do them justice at all

Here’s an idea: focus your attention on your community. Join an organization and build coalitions locally. Do the work to improve the material conditions of those around you, acting in good faith with solidarity toward your neighbors.

Then, when you’ve realized how inane and pointless it is to generalize about populations numbering into the millions, mind your own fucking business and quit wishing ill on people you will never meet. Compassion fatigue is your problem, and calling the population of an entire state terrible is just bullshit no matter which way you cut it.

We don’t need your kindness, we don’t need saving, we need cooperation and community. If that’s not in your wheelhouse, then keep to yourself.

Signed, a “terrible” floridian who’s fed up with dipshit northerners telling me that I deserve to die in a hurricane because my governor sucks.

In the context of sexual activity, it originally referred to chem sex (usually stimulants)

Great job op! Best of luck in your continued weight loss

Married with two cats. There’s never enough storage

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Porque no los dos

Nah we’re shipping people to south Sudan it they don’t “belong” in south/central america

I don’t understand the joke. Is it just booty?

Obligatory Whitest Kids U Know plug

That’s a nice fuckin kitty

✂️✂️

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: leftists aren’t a big enough voting bloc to swing a presidential election. I’m an anti-electoralist anarchist and I still voted for the cop. Most leftists still vote despite their belief that our electoral system is a sham. If you’re going to point the finger at anyone, point it at white liberals. They didn’t show up.

Pick a fucking lane my guys. This is the same bullshit the Republicans pull. Leftists are either incredibly popular and powerful or incredibly weak and ineffective depending on which flavor of cope you’re going for this week. We aren’t responsible for your party being a hot mess

There are non hierarchical societies littered throughout history, even today the zapatistas and peoples in rojava are non-hierarchical. Being in an organized social group, even numbering into the millions, does not necessitate hierarchy

The history of hierarchy*